Growing

Baby: These clothes don’t fit me anymore. Me: What do you mean? We only got them last month! Baby: Well, the poppers don’t do up. Me: Clothes are supposed to last for three months! It says so right here on the label. Baby: The body is too short. The sleeves are still too long. The…

Food

Baby: I don’t want this food. Me: It’s pear. I thought you liked pear. You liked pear last week. Baby: That was different pear. Me: Would you like some watermelon? Baby: I don’t want that either. Me: Are you sure? You really liked it before. Baby: … Me: … Baby: I’m happy to put it…

Outside

Me: Look how beautiful and sunny it is! Let’s open the back door. Baby: *stares as if the door has never been opened before* Me: Do you want to come outside? Baby: *crawls at breakneck speed towards the door, stopping suddenly in the doorway* Me: Just a little bit further… Baby: Oh no. I’m not…

Sleep

Baby: Victory is mine, victory is mine! I fought the sleep monster and I won! The sleep monster is no more! Me: Why aren’t you asleep? Baby: In defeating the terrible sleep monster, I must acknowledge the help I received from my feet. Thank you, right foot. Thank you, left foot. You kept me entertained…

Forbidden Baby

Many games are based on real-life events, more or less subtly. They might be faithful recreations, like Flash Point‘s impressive rendering of a burning building, or merely inspirations, like Thurn and Taxis, everyone’s favourite game about the origins of the German postal service. With a baby, a lot of new events come in quick succession….

Row, row, row your boat…

Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream Row, row, row your boat Gently down the Thames Slowly past the city lights Then fast around the bends Row, row, row your boat Gently down the Humber Look at all the cargo ships Filled with bricks…

Moving

Baby: Look at me! I’m moving. Me: Well done! That’s wonderful! You’re such a clever baby. Baby: I can crawl over here… Me: You can! Baby: I can crawl over there… Me: Yes, crawl to Mummy! Baby: Or I could go this way… Me: What? Don’t you want to crawl to me? Baby: Actually, what…

Bathtime

Baby: What’s this? Me: It’s a bath. Remember, you like baths. Baby: I don’t remember liking baths. I don’t think I’m going to like it. Me: Don’t you remember playing with the rubber ducks in the bath? Baby: Rubber ducks! Ten minutes later. Me: Time to come out of the bath now! Baby: Wait…I’m not…

First food

So you’ve decided to give your baby ‘solid’ food (as in cooked, blended and sieved) for the first time. Do you: a) Give her a bath a few hours before you feed? b) Put her in clean new clothes a few hours before you feed? c) Put all her bibs into the wash and start…

Keep looking at me

Baby: Where are you? Are you looking at me? It’s very important that you look at me. Me: I’m here. Don’t worry, I’m still here. Baby: But you’re not looking at me! Keep looking at me! Me: Can’t I drink my tea? Baby: If you stop looking at me, I might stop existing! It’s very…

Sleeves

Baby: I’m bored. I’m going to cry until you do something about it. Me: Well, we could go out. Would you like that? Baby: I’m still bored. Why haven’t you done anything about it yet? Me: Let’s go outside. I’ll put on your leg-warmers. Baby: Ooooh, feet! Me: And now your coat. Just lie there…

What new parents want

You’ve just brought home a baby. You’re spending the time sitting on the sofa or in bed, desperately trying to get baby to latch on. You don’t really have any ambitions for the next few weeks, apart from getting used to having this tiny scrap in your life. Preferably without anyone dropping the baby. And…